Interview with myself

Upon arriving at the interview I found the subject's house a mess and a mix of poopie diapers and clean laundry in the air. It had obviously been a rough morning.

ME: So, I think the questions on everyone's mind is... Are you moving? Did you buy a house?

MYSELF: For now, no. We were "under contract" three times with the same house and in the end it just didn't work out. I guess it wasn't meant to be. We lost a lot of money, but it is all going to be okay.

ME: What happens from here?

MYSELF: Well we are back at square one looking for a place to buy. We hope to buy and move within the next three months. We already have a few we have interest in.

ME: Do you feel that you learned something from this experience? What positive feedback can you take from this?

MYSELF: Well the positive is my family is healthy, safe and we have a place to live. We have warm beds to crawl into at night and lots of love. I guess this experience has given me a sense of gratitude. Gratitude to my family and friends. Our poor friends the Allen's put so much time into the situation and didn't get anything out of it. We feel lucky to be surrounded by such great people. We couldn't feel more loved!

ME: Yeah, that's nice...moving on to the more social part of this piece....nice hair. Are you planning on going on a rock tour or something with that bright red?

MYSELF: I think I look quite sexy actually. I needed something fun to kick my butt out of the just had a baby phase. I am, after all, still in my twenties, even if it is only for three more years.

ME: Do you prefer flushable wipes or regular old toilet paper?

MYSELF: That is way to personal. This interview is over. Your gonna hear from my publicist!

Subject storms out of the interview. Amongst her fury she trips on her daughter's new strawberry shortcake house and all the minuscule pieces come crashing out. Sighing with defeat, she goes to search for chocolate.