These past four/five months have been among the hardest in my life. I have had a super hard time just getting through the days. We bought a house/ lost most of our friends, bills piled in, had a disaster with Alilia's birthday and have moved into a new ward which I have had a hard time acclimating to. I feel like most of our good friends "broke up with us" when we moved south. "It's not u, it's me" translates into "out of sight, out of mind". I won't even touch on the whole Alilia disaster because it brings tears just thinking about it. I have had such a hard time with this new ward. The older I get, the harder it is to put myself out there again on the friendship market. And when you have a husband who likes to be the prom king he can over shadow even a very, strong personality like mine. I hate being known as George's wife. I feel I have some value beyond that.
I have decided to be done wallowing. No one is going to come to my rescue but me. So my goal is to make a true effort to make some friends in this new ward. Lauren, thanks for being my friend already! I am going to loose myself in service. Our bishop gave this lesson on welfare and he started it by quoting a scripture that says, " And they lived in the manner of happiness". I am going to live in the manner of happiness because it is a decision. I am going to quite focusing on my issues and start helping others. I am changing this negative attitude into a positive one if it kills me! I am going to have a conversation with at least two new people a week at church. I am going to do two acts of service a week. And I am going to be happy damn it! So go me!
6 comments:
Hey girl, no matter what, I think you're special. Life is just plain hard, especially when you get in an emotional rut. Hang in there and I'll try to do the same. Losing yourself in service is a good thing, wish I had more motivation like you.
Go You!! :) Oh my gosh, you made my day! I don't care what you've got going on today, you're coming over even if you can only spend 10 minutes---I feel like I'm in the same boat...and thank YOU for being my friend! I need one just as bad! You're such a sweetie!
I feel ya Mel! I think that is a great goal and I know you will do well. And you are more than "George's wife"...you always were a great friend to me! :)
Mel you will have no problems making friends. You are such a like-able person and are so great. Good luck with your goals. Moving to a new place is always hard, but it'll get easier.
Girl, you figured it out. I live in a ward that some describe as "clicky" but we just look at it like we are family and very close. A girl moved into our ward and felt like she was having a hard time meeting people, so she started serving them. Cleaning houses, watching kids, helping with dinner....I know of about 12 people that she personally served just by saying, "I'm going to do something so you might as well tell me what you need." She has made such good friends in the ward now and I know it's from service. It's ok to have a pity party and be mad and sad. But you are a great girl and anyone who meets you I'm sure wants to be your friend. And hopefully you can find time to be "Mel and not George's wife" at school and work. That is why I need my job so much!!! LOVE U!!
Yes, out of sight, out of mind. It seems to be a pretty standard thing. I wish it wasn't. I felt that way too after we moved. But we moved to an entirely different state and you moved 30 minutes away, so there should be no excuses! I'm sorry you were feeling so down. I hope things are looking up now. :)
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