Cheers to today!

Yesterday was a day that goes down on the books forever. AS HORRIBLE! Tuesday night we got a phone call from Australia telling us some bad news. George's dad had been in the hospital the past two weeks with phenomena, which we knew. They had tried antibiotics and he wasn't getting better. In fact he was drowning to death with all the fluid in his lungs. So they had to operate and drain it out. We knew this already. Turns out when they were taking the 7 LITERS out of his lungs they found a cancerous tumor on top of his lungs. Because his body was so weak they said chemo would kill him and they didn't want to do another intrusive operation to remove it. So they weren't sure what they were going to do. I freaked out! I adore my father-in-law. We get each other and I enjoy spending time with him and hearing him tell me "I'm his favorite"(I'm sure he tells everyone that!). I slept maybe one hour that night just laying there freaking out. Most people who know me know my own parents are, well....hmmmm....well.... much more interested in themselves than anyone else. So when my in-laws finally came to visit it overwhelmed me on how wonderful they were! They truly were the family I had waited my whole life to have.

Anyways cue Wed. It started out with a doctor's visit which was stressful to get to. Luckily, a neighbor helped me out and watched the girls. The doctor was great. She is pregnant with her fifth child! SUPERWOMAN! I thought we would find out if it was twins or just one but she was concerned we were off our due date and since I tend to deliver early she wanted me to go to the "special" lab to get an ultrasound on Monday. She also told me that she was going to start me on steroid shots at 35 weeks. I never considered my early labor dangerous since my kids come out HUGE and are always healthy, but it did make me start worrying a little in the back of my mind. So I went home with a lot on my mind.

I had agreed to watch a friend's two kids while she took her other four to do some service. I hope if this friend reads this she is not offended with what I have to say. Long story short, while I was on the phone listening to my friend tell my of her miscarriage that day, the three year old went upstairs to my bathroom and took a nail polish. She then opened it and spilled PURPLE nail polish all over my carpet upstairs and all down the stairs and on multiple items of clothing. Clothing that was brand new with the tags still on. Like over a hundred dollars worth of clothing. And as for my carpet, I now have barney polka dots all over my one year old house that I have rubbed so hard the carpet fell out. Honestly, I would have rather lost a toe or finger. This was so traumatic for me. So, so traumatic! I know we won't have the money to replace our carpet for at least a year so I get to stare at these spots. The spots are about the size of a fist. Multiple fist spots. I think I could have dealt better if it was my child that did it. But my kids came running to tell me and never touched the polish. I think I would have dealt better if both of her kids didn't cry for the next forty minutes while I tried to call her and she didn't answer. I think I would have dealt better if when the Mom came in she didn't dismiss it by saying," If I had a dollar for every time she does something like that at my house"! No offer to pay for the clothing or carpet (which I would have refused but still appreciated). Nope, not much concern there. I'm still pretty chapped about it if you can't tell. I'm still sick down to my core as I throw away the brand new clothes. My kids would have gotten the beating of their lifetime!!!!!!! No joke there!

The day could not have gotten worse! But thankfully, I got a phone call that gave me light. My mother-in-law called to say when they went back to drain 5 MORE LITERS out of his lungs the tumor was gone. poof! no sign of it whatsoever. There were still cancer cells in the fluid that they drained so they need to figure out where that came from, but all in all this was terrific news! So, I am really trying to focus on the positive today. The girls and I are going to get some lunch and see if we can score something cute to redo at DI, maybe even check out the new Hobby Lobby. Yesterday is over and today is a present.

In a day

Yesterday an amazing thing happened! I found someone to watch my girls (major stress of my life) while I went to my first Dr's appointment. I have taken two weeks off of school so just driving alone in the car seemed odd. At first I stressed I was going to be late then, for the first time I started to get really excited to hear this little baby inside me. I haven't had even a moment to be excited. There is so much stress about money, insurance, blah blah blah that I haven't been able to focus on the happy part. Two of George's siblings have twins (both girls) and so do a few of his cousins so everytime I get pregnant it is in the back of my mind. The doctor's office was wonderful and friendly. The did say I was only 12 weeks, not 14. I guess I can't count? Then I shared my concern about multiple babies and they humored me and listened to the heartbeat. They did hear two heartbeats! But I guess the baby has a heartbeat and so does the placenta so there is a high chance that it is only one baby. I go back tomorrow and hopefully they do an ultrasound to find out for sure. I have a feeling that it is only one baby and kinda of have an inkling that it is an other girl. But guess what? That makes me excited! Just the thought of holding a precious little person, who smells wonderful and needs me so completely is thrilling! I feel so grateful!

On a side note, I have been having an extremely hard time with Alilia. If you tell her about the baby in Mommy's tummy she will scream and hit my belly as hard as she can. NO BUENO. I can tell she is having an issue with not getting enough attention. At 21 months she is so freaking smart! We have been fighting non stop until...... I stopped. I decided that instead of referring to her as my little "monster" I would tell her she was a good, nice girl. Instead of yelling when she punched and pinched Tatiana I calmly told her she was a nice girl and nice girls don't do that. It was amazing how all of the sudden my girl who doesn't like to sit still suddenly let me hold, hug and kiss her all day. Really it was my fault all along! She just wanted more of her mommy's attention, the good kind.

My darling friend Marina knocked on my door this morning and surprised me with some adorable hair bows for my girls. What a lovely surprise! And if this is another girl she will have plenty of cute things to choose from:).

Highs and Lows

Pregnancy is all about emotional highs and lows. Sometimes in the same minute. I adore my kids. Tati and i have been going on dates to dinner and see movies and it has been a blast. She is at such a fun age. Alilia is so dang smart. She sings her ABC's and counts in Spanish. Who is this kid? My hubby is a rock. I cried the other day after we had lunch together and he had to go back to work. I was feeling so sick and all I wanted was for him to come home and hold me. He felt so bad watching me driving away sobbing. I have been sick, sick, sick. At one point, in the hospital because it was so bad. I'm, oh 13/14 weeks along and not getting better! I haven't been to the OB doctor yet because we have no insurance but it is something I am working on. And although I haven't heard this precious baby's heart beat I know he/she is healthy and doing well. It may be a medical miracle but I already feel this kid moving around. Usually when one of the other kids are leaning their head against my belly I fell a little "rub" or a "push". Or if I am squatting down I feel that tickling sensation of the baby moving so fast around. Girl, or Boy I am very excited for this baby. However horrible, this pregnancy has been I truly want to fill our house with these brown eyed little people. As I finished that sentence Alilia fell off the couch, bonked her head, ran to me and as i am comforting her looked up into my face and... spit. Like I said, highs and lows.

If Only...

Honestly today I feel like packing up all our stuff, or just leaving it, and moving to Hawaii. I am so sick with morning sickness and I know the only thing that will make me feel better is ocean wind and salty water. I need to feel Hawaii. Today I am sick of being a homeowner, responsible bill payer, and I look around my house and realize I wouldn't be sad to leave all of this. I wish I could have my little girls run around the beach while George is surfing and I am floating weightlessly in the ocean. I swear life was so uncomplicated when I could wash it away in the ocean. I have gotten caught up in superficial things. I have received more posesions and it hasn't made me a better person. I told George that as soon as you get off the plane in Hawaii the air hits you and puts a smile on your face. I crave Hawaii.

We are having another Baby!

I'm about 7/8 weeks along which isn't very far I know. I am very excited though. I can't wait for our life to get bigger. I was feeling content with our two and then suddenly had an overwhelming feeling to have lots and lots of babies. I want to fill our home with laughter and yelling. I want big Sunday dinners with the family. I want lots and lots of grand babies. "Family" is a relative term with my parents and siblings and love is hard to find. I realized that my children bring me so much joy and if my hubby is willing we are going to have at least one (maybe more?) after this one. I won't say I hope it is a boy...I will just say I hope this is a healthy, safe pregnancy and the baby grows to full term. I can't wait for that day in the hospital that this little human is put in my arms and I realize the responsibility I have. The girls are so excited and keep kissing my belly and talking to the baby. Tati said the other day, "Mom, we need to go buy some binoculars right away!" Me:"why?" Tati:" So I can look in your belly and see the baby!" Well my pregnancy whiffer is kicking in and a poopie Alilia is sitting next to me so.........

Alilia

(no pics of her on this computer:( )

Firecracker. Spitfire. Hellion. Smartypants. Jokester. All perfect words to describe this little "Big" girl. As a new baby Alilia would only let Mommy hold her. She was quiet and observed eveything. I had no idea what personality was going to come out of this dark eyed serious child. But when it came, it really came! At twenty months she is so smart! She can communicate clearly in sentences, sing songs and tease with the best of them. She loves to hit and pinch (no idea where that came from??). She is a master at hide and go seek. She only tells u she loves you when she really means it. She reserves her kisses for when you deserve it. She loves to "wrestle" Tati and usually ends up the winner. Her smile is infectious and she loves to laugh. When I go into her room in morning she puts her palm in my face and says "I want Daddy". She doesn't like me to hold other babies because she gets very jealous. Which brings me to......

A few words about Tatiana. I am amazed how perfect this girl is! Truly, I hardly ever get mad at her because when I do I remember how wonderful she acts 99% of the time. She is constantly making strangers into her friends and asking if they can come over to our house. I'm talking kids, senior citizens, teenage boys and even sometimes dogs. She is an amazing big sister. She is patient with Alilia and loves to cuddle with her. She will not only share with her sister, she will give her the bigger or better piece. She thanks me all the time for "being her Mommy", and would love if she could just sit and cuddle me all day. Tatiana was such an easy baby and I keep waiting for her to get harder but it doesn't happen. I sure love her and am